FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY:


1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

20. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

26. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED HEMORRHOIDS INSTEAD OF ASTEROIDS?

27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

Internet Off Topic forums would have far fewer posts.

Bottles or shots?




Unless they decide they need one. I think being the prophet of atheism
would be cool.




Insurance companies don't cover acts of God. Acts of the devil, on the
other hand, are standard with every contract.




Because we didn't. We evolved from a common ancestor that preceeded
modern great apes, we evolved in one direction and they evolved in another.




My north pole?




Uppity b*tch.




Then there wouldn't be any hypothetical answers.
Hypothetically speaking.




Yep.




Sure would be fun to watch tho.




In English?




The city.




Make stew.




Only if he has a W2, you need proof of cabbage before you can take the green.




A hobble.




Ppl steal toilet paper, or take merchandise in there and shove it down their pants.




I think he'd just be considered dead.




Yes, but not on Sunday, unless they're also an atheist. Thus sayeth
the atheist prophet.




Mimes can hear, they just can't reply. Would be fun to watch a mime getting tazed.




Regular bread. People get hungry enough, they'll eat anything.




Unless they've got multiple personalities.




2 very polite ppl staring intently at one another? That or just
use kind bullets.




No, they become asynchronized.




After yoour stomach explodes, yes. Matter and anti-matter don't mix well.




Both




Oh how I wish I could take credit for that.




The word was already taken, and arsetroid was too British.




We can't?




Because we don't want it going good.




They become Mexican.


... bored ...