Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
Your stimulus check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .

2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .

3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .

4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .

5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses
and be hidden in offshore accounts.


Instead, you can keep the money in America by:

1. Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or

2. Going to baseball or football games, or

3. Hiring prostitutes, or

4. Buying cheap beer or

5. Getting tattoos.

These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US .

Conclusion:

The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that
you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed!