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| Humor https://mail.black-squirrel.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=17197 |
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| Author: | Father Cajone [ Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:47 am ] |
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I for one need a few chuckles on occasion so we might try this for a change of pace? [:o)] |
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| Author: | Father Cajone [ Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:51 am ] |
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Holidays! When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair? Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas. Altzheimer's Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs. Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket? A. Two points, just like anyone else. Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots? A. The Ether Bunny Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A. He doesn't want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens. Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body. Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr! Knock, knock... Who's there? "Ether"! "Ether" who? ....... "Ether" Bunny! Q: What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade? A: Hot, cross bunnies. Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around? A: Hoppy Easter! Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in? A: Mallardjusted. Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny? A: A good Easter. Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball? A: A slam duck. Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head? A: Because he had a eggache! (headache) Q: How do bunnies stay healthy? A: Eggercise Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A: A receding hareline. Q: What do ducks have for lunch? A: Soup and quackers! Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road? A: Because it was the chicken's day off. Q: What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants? A: A smarty pants. Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain? A: An egghead. Q: What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken? A: The very first rabbit to lay an egg! Q: Why are people always tired in April? A: Because they just finished a march Q: How do you catch a unique bunny? A: Unique up on it!! Q: Why did the Easter egg hide? A: He was a little chicken! Q: What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack? A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops. Q: What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work? A: Tired. Q: Why did the Easter Bunny hop down the road? A: He was making the movie. Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing at you. Q: What did the bunny put over his sore? A: A eggage. If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. Money talks. Chocolate sings. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake. |
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