Muhahaha
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| AOL parody Song https://mail.black-squirrel.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=12234 |
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| Author: | Tradewarrior55 [ Thu Jan 22, 2004 2:23 pm ] |
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"American Pie" Based on the performance by Don McLean "Amer'ca Online" Parody by David Cassel A long, long, time ago I can still remember when I dialed up their help desk lines. And I knew if I had the chance They could make my modem dance with chats and GIFs and silly pick-up lines. But HelpDesk phone calls made me shiver with every busy they'd deliver. Bad news on the front page A 19-hour outrage. I can't remember if I cried when I realized that Steve Case had lied. But something touched me deep inside The day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine. And good old geeks are cheering users offline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. Did you write the book of TOS Will you send your password to PWD-BOSS If an IM tells you so. And will you believe the Motley Fool When he tells you that the service rules And can you teach me how to Web real slow? Well I know you sold the service short Cause I saw your quarterly report. Steve Case sold off his stock It fell just like a rock. It was a crazy, costly high-tech play As they slashed away at what subscribers pay And half their users went away the day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine And good old geeks are cheering userso ffline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. Well for two days we've been on our own And dial-ins click on a rolling phone But that's not how it used to be When the mogul came to Virginia court With an OS icon and a browser port And a desktop that looked like Apple III. And while Jim Clark was looking down The mogul stole his thorny crown The browser war was turned. Mozilla...was spurned. And while Steve left users out to bond With hosts unable to respond 6 million newbies all were conned the day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine And good old geeks are cheering users offline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. DaChronic ducked their software guards And stole a million credit cards To use accounts he'd gotten free. And so Steve Case went to the FBI and he told Boardwatch* a little lie That hackers wanted child pornography * But while Steve Case was looking down The hackers pulled his e-mail down They put it on the net. He can't be trusted yet! And while user cynicism climbs At sign-on ads and welcome rhymes They scan their e-mail for "Good Times" the day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine And good old geeks are cheering users offline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. Helter-skelter billing needs a melter The lawyers filed a class-action shelter Eight million in lawyer's fees. But it looks like some attorney jibe an hour if they resubscribe. To a service marketed for free Well I KNOW you're raking in the bucks Cause I'm reading alt.aol-sucks. "Until we bless the suit The settlement is moot." "IfAOL treats you like the Borg Then visit aolsucks.org Before some router pulls the cord" the day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine And good old geeks are cheering users offline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. Bill Razzouk, the head-to-be sold off his home in Tennessee And headed for a 4-month end. Was he sad or just incensed when Case offered him his thirty cents. Billing is the devil's only friend. But as I read him on the page My hands were clenched in fists ofrage. No "Welcome" born in hell could ring that chatroom bell. And as chat freaks cried into the night CompuServe read their last rites. I saw Earthlink laughing with delight the day the service died. So bye bye to Amer'ca Online Drove my modem to a domain and it's working just fine And good old geeks are cheering users offline Saying this'll be the day that they die. This'll be the day that they die. I met a girl in Lobby 9 And I asked her if she'd stay on-line. But she just frowned and looked away. And I went back to the Member Lounge To see what loyalty I could scrounge But RoomHost said the members went away... And on the net the modems scream At faster speeds and data streams. And not a tear was spoken. The hourly fees were broken. And the three men that I hated most Ted, and Steve, and Razzouk's ghost They couldn't dial up the host The day the service died. |
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| Author: | Res Judicata [ Thu Jan 22, 2004 2:38 pm ] |
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Muhahaha
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| Author: | Wildstar [ Thu Jan 22, 2004 3:10 pm ] |
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"American Pie" Based on the performance by Don McLean "The Saga Begins" Parody by Weird Al Yankovic A long, long time ago In a galaxy far away Naboo was under an attack And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn Could talk the federation into Maybe cutting them a little slack But their response, it didn't thrill us They locked the doors and tried to kill us We escaped from that gas Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass We took a bongo from the scene And we went to Theed to see the Queen We all wound up on Tatooine That's where we found this boy... Oh my my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Did you know this junkyard slave Isn't even old enough to shave And he can use the Force, they say Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen Though he's just nine and she's fourteen Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday Well, I knew he built C-3PO And I've heard how fast his pod can go And we were broke, it's true So we made a wager or two He was a prepubescent flyin' ace And the minute Jabba started off that race Well, I knew who would win first place Oh yes, it was our boy We started singin' ... My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" Now we finally got to Coruscant The Jedi Council we knew would want To see how good the boy could be So we took him there and we told the tale How his midi-chlorians were off the scale And he might fulfill that prophecy Oh, the Council was impressed, of course Could he bring balance to the Force? They interview the kid Oh, training they forbid Because Yoda sensed in him much fear And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here" "Just stick it in your pointy ear" "I still will teach this boy" He was singin' ... My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" We caught a ride back to Naboo 'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to I frankly would've liked to stay We all fought in that epic war And it wasn't long at all before Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day And in the end some Gunguns died Some ships blew up and some pilots fried A lot of folks were croakin' The battle droids were broken And the Jedi I admire most Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost I guess I'll train this boy And I was singin' ... My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" We were singin' ... My my this here Anakin guy May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" |
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| Author: | Rofellos [ Thu Jan 22, 2004 4:51 pm ] |
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Is AOL really gone? That would be SuhWEET! |
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| Author: | Orion_Blastar [ Thu Jan 22, 2004 10:28 pm ] |
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Nah AOL is like a virus that you cannot get rid of. People are hooked on their service despite the poor quality, the outages, the email bounces, the high fees, etc. I know many on AOL, and I cannot convince them to switch. Excuses like: #1 "I get access to media I cannot find on the Internet." #2 "AOL has child-safe controls which no other service provides." #3 "I like that 'You have mail' voice. Only AOL has that." #4 "AOL protects me from viruses, no other software can do that." Etc. Somehow they are brainwashed into thinking these services are exclusive to AOL only. #1 Oh you mean like cnn.com, warnerbros.com, time.com, etc? #2 Get Net Nanny or Cyber Sitter, they are realtively cheap with a broadband ISP compared to what AOL charges. #3 I think I have seen that WAV file being passed around on various web sites and file sharing networks. Set it up as your default email program received mail sound event. #4 AVG 6.0 Free Edition, NAV 2004, McAfee, 'nuff said. |
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